Back to School Anxiety
July 28, 2024
The end of summer brings a mix of excitement and anxiety for those anticipating the new school year. As the school year approaches, it is common that many start to experience back to school anxiety. These anxieties stem from various factors: fear of the unknown, new schedule/routine, social pressures, and academic expectations. Understanding these anxieties and knowing how to support yourself or your child could make a difference in preparing you for the upcoming school year. Below are some insights and strategies to cope and master the transition back to school.
Understanding Anxiety.
Anxiety can manifest in many different ways. Each person is unique in the way they exhibit and express their anxiety, below are some common signs.
Stomachaches- we all know the classic, stomachache before school— but this is isn’t always a cop out. Many times, anxiety can effect other parts of our body—the stomach being one of them. This could present as pain, or frequent use of the bathroom. At its worst, the upset stomach can bring on MORE anxiety as it creates worry about having to frequently use the bathroom at school.
Headaches- headaches are another classic symptom of anxiety and typically are a result of overthinking. Headaches can also be a result of little to no sleep due to anxiety.
Changes in sleep- as the school year approaches, anxious thoughts could lead to difficulty falling or staying asleep. At worst, it can also cause distressful dreams or nightmares that make sleep not fully restful.
Changes in mood- feeling suddenly irritable, or having mood fluctuations could be a result of underlying anxiety. Internally, when one is worrying a lot about the upcoming year, it might not always be verbalized. As a result, it shows instead through changes in mood or behavior.
Strategies to Help.
Below are some strategies that you could use for either your child or yourself.
Open and Calm Communication- If you suspect your child is nervous about the school year, make time and create a safe space to talk about it. Listen to your child without interrupting or minimizing (ie. “you’ll be fine). Often, we want to use such commentary to help calm worries but it could make your child’s feelings unheard. Additionally, find the right time to also end the conversation before it goes in circles. Anxious people can work themselves up and get into unhealthy patterns of thinking. So it is important to listen, validate, and end with support. (ie. “I know you’re really nervous about going to a new school, I’ll be here each step of the way to help you through it). If you are experiencing anxiety yourself, find a safe person to talk to such as a friend or family member.
Have a Routine- having a consistent routine provides a sense of stability and control (because anxiety is the fear of not being in control). By having a routine not only in the morning but the night before (lunch ready, clothes picked out, bag ready) it can eliminate more stress in the morning which can exacerbate anxiety.
Don’t Push or Rush- start getting back to a school sleep schedule two weeks or more before. This gives a much smoother transition back to routine. If you start the week before, it can add pressure and increase anxiety—especially to a child. Additionally, rushing in the morning can add to anxious feelings. By providing enough time in the morning and being prepared, it can create a calm and stable environment which helps with the transition.
For Parents- Check your own Anxiety- as a therapist who also works in a school, I have seen countless parents not realize that their own anxiety is only projecting more anxiety onto their child. Be mindful of what you say, withhold pressuring statements, and be neutral and calm. Also, be mindful of your body language and rushing yourself in the morning—remember, you are modeling behavior and setting an example! If you are rushed and anxious, children are like sponges, and they will likely feel rushed and anxious as well.
Practice Social Skills- if you are a parent and have a child who is nervous, create time to talk through scenarios that make them uncomfortable. Role play, or use visualization to talk through it step by step. This could be introducing themselves to new friends, navigating finding classes, or getting through the lunch line.
Use Relaxation Techniques- Often, at school, not all coping tools can be used. Think of what creative ways you can practice relaxation without needing many items. This could be slow deep breaths to calm the nervous system (in the nose and count slow to three, out the mouth and count slow to three). It could also be getting a cold drink of water, taking a short break to use the bathroom, getting some fresh air, chewing on a mint, or using grounding techniques to distract from anxious thoughts.
When to Seek Additional Help.
Back to school anxiety is a very normal experience for anyone (whether it’s kindergarten or college!). Transitions, new experiences, and general fear of the unknown can bring a lot of worry. With the right strategies and tools behind you, it can help get through the difficult transition and before you know it, the anxiety is gone and going to school becomes a normal routine. However, for some, anxiety can persist and it may take longer to adjust. If you find that the anxiety is impacting daily life such as completely avoiding going to school, shutting down, or frequent panic attacks, it may be good to seek support from a professional. As a therapist who has worked with all ages, I have extensive experience helping individuals as well as parents navigate this very common issue. If you are interested in seeking additional support, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
About the Author
Christina Kee is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California with a passion for helping others navigate anxiety. She specializes in children and youth, and can be reached at christina@theconsciousmindcounseling.com or via phone at 562-578-8890.
